Pragmatic Antidotes to Overcoming Cognitive Can'tstipation (Telling Yourself You Can't Stop Having Certain
Unwanted Thoughts When You Can)
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
"Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean you have to believe it."
- Source: Full Catastrophe Living
- Appeal: Rational and Logical Appeal
This antidote teaches you to notice thoughts without attaching belief or importance to them. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "This thought is true" with "This is just a thought, and I don’t have to believe it."
- Actionable Component: When a thought arises, silently remind yourself, “This is just a thought, not a fact.”
- Zindel V. Segal
"Thoughts are mental events that arise and pass. You don’t need to stop them—you need to stop following them."
- Source: The Mindful Way Through Depression
- Appeal: Practical and Problem-Solving Appeal
This antidote teaches you to let thoughts pass without engaging with them. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "I must stop these thoughts" with "I will let these thoughts pass without following them."
- Actionable Component: Imagine intrusive thoughts as leaves floating down a stream—watch them pass without chasing after them.
- Steven C. Hayes
"Let your thoughts come and go like passengers on a bus. You are the driver, not the passengers."
- Source: Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life
- Appeal: Rational and Logical Appeal
This antidote reframes thoughts as passengers that can enter and leave your mind without controlling your direction. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "These thoughts are driving me" with "I am the driver, and these thoughts are just passengers."
- Actionable Component: When a thought arises, visualize it as a passenger on a bus. Acknowledge it but continue driving your own path.
- Marsha M. Linehan
"Observe, don’t judge."
- Source: DBT Skills Training Manual
- Appeal: Mindfulness and Introspection Appeal
This antidote encourages you to notice intrusive thoughts without attaching judgment to them. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "These thoughts are bad and must stop" with "These thoughts are neither good nor bad—they just are."
- Actionable Component: Spend 5 minutes practicing observing intrusive thoughts without labeling them as good or bad.
- Richard J. Davidson
"Shift your attention gently from the thought to your breath."
- Source: The Emotional Life of Your Brain
- Appeal: Practical and Problem-Solving Appeal
This antidote teaches you to refocus on the breath as a grounding practice when thoughts become overwhelming. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "I am stuck in this thought" with "I can return to my breath and let this thought fade."
- Actionable Component: When an intrusive thought arises, take 3 deep breaths, focusing solely on the sensation of air entering and leaving your body.
- Mark Williams
"Bring awareness to your thoughts without trying to change them."
- Source: The Mindful Way Workbook
- Appeal: Mindfulness and Introspection Appeal
This antidote encourages awareness of thoughts without effort to control or suppress them. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "I must change this thought" with "I will bring awareness to this thought and let it be."
- Actionable Component: Spend 10 minutes noticing thoughts as they arise and labeling them simply as "thinking."
- John D. Teasdale
"Thoughts lose their grip when observed instead of fought."
- Source: Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy for Depression
- Appeal: Practical and Problem-Solving Appeal
This antidote teaches you to reduce the intensity of intrusive thoughts by observing them rather than battling them. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "I must fight this thought" with "I will watch this thought without engaging with it."
- Actionable Component: When an intrusive thought arises, silently say to yourself, "I see you," and then refocus on your surroundings.
- Susan M. Orsillo
"Intrusive thoughts are not problems to solve but experiences to notice."
- Source: The Mindful Way Through Anxiety
- Appeal: Mindfulness and Introspection Appeal
This antidote encourages treating thoughts as experiences rather than problems needing resolution. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "I must fix these thoughts" with "I will notice these thoughts without trying to fix them."
- Actionable Component: Spend 5 minutes noticing intrusive thoughts and silently label them as "thoughts."
- Lizabeth Roemer
"Allow space for your thoughts to exist without acting on them."
- Source: The Mindful Way Through Anxiety
- Appeal: Rational and Logical Appeal
This antidote teaches you to create space between having a thought and feeling the need to act on it. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "I must act on this thought" with "I will allow this thought to exist without action."
- Actionable Component: When a thought arises, take 10 seconds to pause before deciding not to act on it.
- Paul Gilbert
"Bring kindness to your thoughts."
- Source: The Compassionate Mind
- Appeal: Relational and Empathy Appeal
This antidote encourages approaching intrusive thoughts with kindness and compassion rather than harshness. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "I hate these thoughts" with "I will meet these thoughts with kindness and patience."
- Actionable Component: When an intrusive thought arises, silently say, "It’s okay to feel this thought—I can meet it with kindness."
- Thich Nhat Hanh
"Smile at your thoughts."
- Source: The Miracle of Mindfulness
- Appeal: Mindfulness and Introspection Appeal
This antidote reframes intrusive thoughts as opportunities to practice lightness and acceptance. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "I must stop these thoughts" with "I will smile at these thoughts and let them pass."
- Actionable Component: When a thought arises, smile gently and take three mindful breaths.
- Daniel Siegel
"Focus your attention like a flashlight on what you want to grow."
- Source: Mindsight
- Appeal: Practical and Problem-Solving Appeal
This antidote teaches you to shift attention away from intrusive thoughts and toward positive focus points. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "I am stuck in these thoughts" with "I will redirect my flashlight to something constructive."
- Actionable Component: Choose one positive focus, such as gratitude, and redirect your attention to it when thoughts arise.
- Christopher Germer
"You don’t need to fix your thoughts—you just need to make room for them."
- Source: The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion
- Appeal: Relational and Empathy Appeal
This antidote reframes thoughts as guests to welcome without fixing or forcing them out. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "I must fix these thoughts" with "I will allow space for these thoughts to exist."
- Actionable Component: Imagine your mind as a room and your thoughts as guests. Welcome them kindly without judgment.
- Kristin Neff
"Treat your thoughts as if they were a child in need of comfort."
- Source: Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
- Appeal: Relational and Empathy Appeal
This antidote encourages approaching thoughts with self-compassion rather than self-criticism. - Language Sensitivity: Replace "These thoughts are too upsetting" with "These thoughts need compassion, not judgment."
- Actionable Component: When a thought arises, silently say to yourself, "This is a thought in need of comfort, and I will be gentle with it."
- Thich Nhat Hanh
"Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor."
- Source: The Miracle of Mindfulness
- Appeal: Mindfulness and Introspection Appeal
This antidote reframes intrusive thoughts as fleeting mental clouds that can be anchored through mindful breathing. - Analysis: Obsessive thoughts lose power when you use the breath as an anchor to stay present and let thoughts pass naturally.
- Language Sensitivity: Replace "I am lost in these thoughts" with "I will anchor myself in my breath to let these thoughts pass."
- Actionable Component: Practice mindful breathing for 3 minutes, focusing on the sensation of air entering and leaving your nostrils whenever intrusive thoughts arise.
- Daniel Siegel
"Where attention goes, neural firing flows."
- Source: The Mindful Brain
- Appeal: Rational and Logical Appeal
This antidote reframes intrusive thoughts as habits that grow stronger with attention, which can be redirected to constructive mental patterns. - Analysis: Obsessive thoughts diminish when you shift attention to positive or neutral stimuli, rewiring your brain over time.
- Language Sensitivity: Replace "I must focus on these thoughts to resolve them" with "I will direct my attention to constructive and calming experiences."
- Actionable Component: When an intrusive thought arises, redirect your attention to a neutral activity, like observing an object or sensation in your surroundings.
- Christopher Germer
"A moment of self-compassion can change the course of your entire day."
- Source: The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion
- Appeal: Relational and Empathy Appeal
This antidote reframes intrusive thoughts as opportunities to practice self-compassion, softening their emotional impact. - Analysis: Obsessive thoughts lose power when you respond to them with kindness and self-compassion rather than harsh self-judgment.
- Language Sensitivity: Replace "These thoughts make me weak" with "I will approach myself with compassion when these thoughts arise."
- Actionable Component: When an intrusive thought arises, silently say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way. May I be kind to myself.”
- Kristin Neff
"Instead of judging our thoughts, we can bring kind awareness to them."
- Source: Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
- Appeal: Relational and Empathy Appeal
This antidote reframes intrusive thoughts as opportunities for mindful awareness rather than judgment or criticism. - Analysis: Obsessive thoughts lose power when you greet them with kindness and curiosity, rather than harsh self-judgment.
- Language Sensitivity: Replace "I shouldn’t have these thoughts" with "I will bring kind awareness to these thoughts."
- Actionable Component: When an intrusive thought arises, take a deep breath and gently say to yourself, “I see you, thought, and I accept you.”
- Ellen Langer
"Mindfulness is the simple act of actively noticing new things."
- Source: Mindfulness
- Appeal: Practical and Problem-Solving Appeal
This antidote reframes intrusive thoughts as opportunities to actively notice new perspectives, breaking free from rigid mental loops. - Analysis: Obsessive thoughts lose power when you actively engage with new perspectives and break the cycle of overthinking.
- Language Sensitivity: Replace "I am stuck in the same thought pattern" with "I will notice something new to redirect my mind."
- Actionable Component: When an intrusive thought arises, actively notice three new things in your environment, such as colors, textures, or sounds.
- Shauna Shapiro
"How we pay attention determines the quality of our experience."
- Source: Rewire Your Mind with Mindfulness
- Appeal: Rational and Logical Appeal
This antidote reframes intrusive thoughts as mental events that can be changed by intentionally shifting attention. - Analysis: Obsessive thoughts diminish when you intentionally shift your attention to meaningful or calming experiences.
- Language Sensitivity: Replace "I am trapped in my thoughts" with "I will focus on what brings me calm and meaning."
- Actionable Component: Practice mindful gratitude by naming three things you are grateful for when an intrusive thought arises.
- Tara Brach
"The way out of fear begins with accepting it fully."
- Source: Radical Acceptance
- Appeal: Mindfulness and Introspection Appeal
This antidote reframes intrusive thoughts as fears to be fully accepted and acknowledged, reducing their intensity. - Analysis: Obsessive thoughts lose power when you acknowledge and accept them instead of resisting or avoiding them.
- Language Sensitivity: Replace "I can’t face these thoughts" with "I will acknowledge and accept these thoughts without fear."
- Actionable Component: Spend 2 minutes sitting with an intrusive thought, repeating, “I see you, thought, and I accept you as you are.”
- Jack Kornfield
"To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be."
- Source: The Wise Heart
- Appeal: Mindfulness and Introspection Appeal
This antidote reframes letting go of intrusive thoughts as allowing them to exist without attaching to or fighting them. - Analysis: Obsessive thoughts diminish when you stop trying to control or eliminate them and instead allow them to pass naturally.
- Language Sensitivity: Replace "I must get rid of these thoughts" with "I will let these thoughts be without attaching to them."
- Actionable Component: When an intrusive thought arises, silently say, “I allow this thought to be here, and I let it pass.”
- Ronald D. Siegel
"Struggling with our thoughts makes them stronger. Letting them go frees us."
- Source: The Mindfulness Solution
- Appeal: Rational and Logical Appeal
This antidote reframes intrusive thoughts as mental events that grow stronger with struggle but weaken with mindful letting go. - Analysis: Obsessive thoughts lose power when you practice letting them go rather than engaging with them.
- Language Sensitivity: Replace "I must fix these thoughts" with "I will let go of these thoughts and free myself."
- Actionable Component: When an intrusive thought arises, visualize it as a leaf floating downstream, letting it drift away naturally.
- Herbert Benson
"Relaxation is the antidote to overthinking."
- Source: The Relaxation Response
- Appeal: Practical and Problem-Solving Appeal
This antidote reframes intrusive thoughts as symptoms of mental tension that can be reduced through relaxation practices. - Analysis: Obsessive thoughts lose power when you engage your body’s relaxation response, calming both mind and body.
- Language Sensitivity: Replace "These thoughts overwhelm me" with "I will calm my body and mind to release these thoughts."
- Actionable Component: Practice 10 minutes of progressive muscle relaxation to release tension when intrusive thoughts arise.